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Jul 25, 2009


So.  Dad's given Van marching orders.  She's leaving.

::shrugs:: Fine.  That's her business.  Their business, really.

But grandpa wants me to get involved.  To have a word with Dad, try to convince him to let Van stay.

Good golly God.  Firstly, this shit that's happening between them has nothing to do with me.  Nothing at all.  I refuse, refuse to get involved.  I can't afford to emotionally invest myself in their petty arguments as well.

But no, "[Van]'s a good person and [I] have to convince [Dad] to let her stay".  Why the fuck?  Dad's in his forties, Van's just a little younger than Brian (just poking fun at your age again, love :P), I'd think they'd be fucking responsible enough for that.  For choosing their partners, for deciding when to turf the ones they're through with.  Van already told me they knew early on that they weren't right for each other, but he [Dad] told her to stick it out.  She did.  And she's through.  That's her choice, I respect that.

So why the hell do I need to put on my armour and come roaring up on my big white horse, to 'save' everyone?  I know Dad's being an ass for tossing out the only woman who would even consider putting up with his shit long-term.  I know that.  But it's not in Van's best interests to stay.  He's never going to change, and frankly, the two of them are too volatile together.  Even when things are good, they're generally only good because she's kept her mouth shut and essentially repressed everything.  She's had enough.  And so have I.

I'm now just waiting for the day grandpa comes around and tells me I can't leave Dad because he'll have no-one else.  Honestly, it's entirely his own fault.  He's pushed everyone away.  But wait!  He works hard!  We should excuse him every fucking mistake he makes!  Who cares if his mistakes mean everyone else suffers?  Who cares, as long as we can screw on a smile, and be subservient to him?

I care.  Oh, I care so very, very much.  And I'm absolutely through.  I refuse to get involved in their bureaucratic shit.  Benson (SVU) put it right.  "You have to sell a little piece of yourself to get the job done.  So what's the point?"

Posted via email from youretrulypre.posterous

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