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Nov 6, 2009

Again? Orly?


We didn't end on good terms, I'm not about to deny that.  Whose fault that is, is entirely up to you.  See, my trying to teach you to be responsible and, you know, a touch more mature turned out to be absolutely failed.  My trying to tell you that Shannyn was not interested in you went completely ignored.  My trying to teach you to take responsibility for your schoolwork, failed utterly.  What do you want me to do, bog myself down with you?

I am, actually, taking all my anger out on you.  I'll concede this point.  But you know why?  You're the only person, in my life, at this moment in time, able and willing to create so much strife.  The only person, in fact, able and willing to so freely dismiss the teachings of others, choosing to be self-indulgent and self-pitying, then wondering why everyone walks away.  It's a cycle only you can break.  I won't be around to feed you sympathy.  Suck it up, grow up, or live alone.  Those are your only two options, Benjamin, and continuing to hate me because you refuse to make something better of yourself does not reflect well on you.

And you can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault

I didn't make you contact Shannyn.  In fact, I was one of the many who warned you against it, tried to stay your hand.

How could you, how could you, how could you hate me?
When all I ever wanted to be was you?
How could you, how could you, how could you love me?
When all you ever gave me were open wounds?

I don't hate you, nor do I particularly love you after your continual inability to understand when enough was enough.  I am, however, particularly irate at the way you seem utterly incapable of being your own person.  Understand, I never wanted you to be anything but yourself, but a mature, responsible version of yourself.  Apparently, this is beyond your grasp; how else do you explain the oft-repeated apologies that mean nothing, once the same act of error has been repeated ad libitum, or the equally-endless "I know, I'll do better"s?

Doesn't matter what I do
Nothing's gonna change
I'm never good enough

Nothing is going to change until I can trust you to be responsible.  That trust isn't going to come easily.  I gave you the benefit of the doubt, and you trampled clean over that.  You're perfectly capable of it, nothing gives you any kind of excuse to be as much of an immature twit as you have been lately.  Other people cope with shit, too, and we do it without exhibiting the same kind of sybaritic, "I'll do as I please and you'll forgive me" behaviour as you've shown lately.

Tell me why you broke me down and betrayed my trust in you
I'm not giving up, giving in when will this war end?
When will it end??

I didn't break you down.  I told you how to improve, so that people don't actually feel like throttling you because of how irresponsible you've been.  I didn't betray your trust in me, you betrayed my trust in you, and caused me to desire little more than to leave.

This ends here.  Any replies you wish to make to me, be a man and make it to my face.  Instead of sneaking around behind my back, and putting it all up on the interwebz first.  Remember, you began this.  You began this, and I'm ending this.

Your move.

Posted via web from youretrulypre.posterous

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